Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
ok first of all what the fuck
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
