She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
