am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
