Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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