At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
