First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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