My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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