i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize