i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
