Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
