So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize