why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The air taste purple.
Randomize
