i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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