My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
