Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize