I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
