I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
