I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
