the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
