If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
