No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
