Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
