dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
