you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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