Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize