dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
