I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So much rum. So many feels.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
