Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
