Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
