took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
