he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
