hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
