We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
