It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
