: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
just tell him i said nine months
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
As shirtless as possible
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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