you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
