If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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