I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
