remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
