btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
