just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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