Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
