Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
