butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
