her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
