i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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