Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
