she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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