did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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