Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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