my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
