I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Panties = found
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
