people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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