so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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