Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
