Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
