woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
