his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
