Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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