he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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