Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
