Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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