I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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