I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
