i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize