I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
