Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
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